Aire

Numb

2009-10-28T18:25:00.012Z

It's difficult when you're so tired, when you're so tired you struggle to sit straight, to put up the front the world wants to see from you.

This weariness

starts from within and then creeps out to your skin.

I'm not sure if it is my body or my mind

or my heart.

This dull feeling

a constant murmur

a constant annoying murmur

of my voice

and their voice.

His voice

hurts when you cannot feel the words

it hurts the most

when you cannot feel

at all

Strange dream

2009-10-20T00:13:00.011+01:00

I had a really strange dream last night. Actually, it's been a while since I had a dream while sleeping.. maybe i'll understand this when i read about it in the future..

I dreamt that I was going somewhere, or leaving to somewhere to be exact. oh wait I just had a flashback while writing this, just remembered a dream I had sometime ago.. also about going somewhere..... on the train/subway/mrt)

Anyways, I had a luggage slightly larger than cabin size and a very heavy backpack filled with stuff. so heavy that it was difficult at times to stand straight without losing balance. I was wearing work clothes and Susan came to send me off (which is really strange in itself) so I reckon I was going somewhere for work reasons, but somewhere far and possibly for quite a while. I felt pretty excited and nervous at the same time. She was coming to the airport with me and we were going to catch the metro (madrid's to be exact) only that the metro station was huge like a big train station and it was really difficult to find the platform that I should be on. We got separated going up and down the platforms, through the people and the escalators... I looked at my watch and realised that we had wasted 1 hour!

Then out of nowhere my dad appears in his casual t-shirt and cap.. looking at his mobile phone like he always does when he tries to keep track of time. I'm surprised to see him and call out, “爸爸！啊..干脆一起来啦！”. So he helps me out with my luggage and he shows me the platform I should be taking...At the back of my mind I consider whether we should take a taxi (visualised as limousine in my head) instead. hahaha.. n then I wake up and realised I overslept for like an hour. Still got to the office on time though, which makes me wonder if I really need to wake up that early everyday..

Back to the flashback I said I had, I remember a dream where I was travelling by train/tube...except that the lines were arranged like singapore's mrt. Yellow and red lines..i had to stay on the yellow line for a long while and then hop off and get on to the other line (felt like it was a non-standard crossover) in order to get to my destination.. oh man im beginning to remember more of that dream. it feels kinda creepy man.. I now remember the mamak store below joanne's house.. then seeing YCK road at night, driving towards that junction to the market (seletar road), exploring Seletar Hills.. and entering a big white mansion.. hahaha..

i should go sleep now. i meant to get this out of my system but the more I write about it the creepier it feels.

Flo and the Machine

2009-10-17T11:47:00.004+01:00

You've got the Love

Leeds

2009-10-16T23:46:00.010+01:00

There, there, I still got my luck alright:)

Managed to get a seat on the train for my 4+hr journey even though it was overflowing with people. Had an extra day away from Bath = extra night of luxurious stay in the hotel with paid dinners. Always wanted to get room service, and it feels especially good when you don't have to pay for it. Feels even better when you do it twice. For some reason food taste like heaven when they come with that shiny round dish metal cover. Oh how I love to spoil myself.

I've been pushing for this training. The only one I really wanted and needed to do under my interests. Battled through my jetlag and studied in the hotel at night. I said "battled" because most of the nights I ended up taking a hot hot bubble bath and then it was difficult to concentrate after that. pure luxury. This is the last piece of my intercontinental ticket, and Im just about to put it all together.

Hello world:)

Hawaii

2009-10-09T05:00:00.002+01:00

I love Hawaii

I love how it feels...

Thank you God for making this possible.

Thank you for answering my prayers and letting my medical scare be... just a scare.

Thank you for giving me a second chance to life.

I've kept the first part of my promise.

I'm gonna miss it here so much

I'm scared

2009-06-27T23:32:00.005+01:00

Just when everything seemed to flow perfectly, I received quite worrisome news.

I went to the optician's to get a new pair of glasses and had an eye check up. they did a very thorough eye check.. so thorough that they're referring me to the specialist Ophthalmologist in the hospital so they can have an even more thorough look at my eyes..

Because I may have something that could lead to some implications.....

It's more as a precautionary measure because the optician couldn't be 100% sure my eyes were ok.

And this is making me very scared.

Very scared.

My day went fine hanging out with V, until I came home, sat down and checked medicinenet.com. Then I broke down in tears as I feared for the grim.. and again now as I write this.

I may be overreacting, but this time I am really scared.

Because I am such a visual person..

Because I haven't seen enough of the world...

Decision Time

2009-02-26T00:40:00.005Z

I decided it is about time to move on

to another country.

Need a change, need some sun, need some life

I'm thinking of moving to the US in the coming year or two at most, get a transfer to one of our American offices either in NY or LA...

Ahhh LA.. I've always wanted to go there...

Things won't be so easy but

Where there's a will

There's a way

Thank you

2008-12-08T22:45:00.009Z

Thank you

For 2008. What an eventful year, for me and my family. All the good, not so good, and the miracles...

My dad, a changed man after his recent stunning full body recovery, decided to come home for the new year holidays. Home - Madrid. Mum had asked us to ask him to come over since she'd be away in tw. So even though it's half because mum won't be around, and he makes the excuse that there are things to sort out for the restaurant downstairs. I don't really care. Because, finally after 10 years, he is coming home.

Dad, bro and I will be celebrating the new year together in our old home. A new beginning to better times...

Sweet.

2008-12-07T22:57:00.002Z

This is such an old blog...

so unkept

Unbelievable personified

2008-11-25T01:12:00.004Z

This is probably the most unbelievable thing that has happened in my entire life.

If this is true, which I can't believe it yet, I....

can't believe it yet!!!

Please let this be real, please...

2008-11-11T23:22:00.001Z

You gotta earn it.

Todo a su tiempo

2008-10-16T23:27:00.004+01:00

Everything in its time. A Spanish way of saying, "one thing at a time", "each thing has its time".

I enjoy the control I have over my life. I enjoy the freedom I have to do the things I want when I want and not do them when I don't want to.

I have learnt not to put unnecessary stress onto myself, and to feel calm as heaven even when there is a list of things to do.

After all, your life is as you see it. Your world is only as real as you believe it is.

(Except, for those awful days when you drown in the nature of being a female specie. On those days, you're allowed to be bitter and burdened...)

If there are things to be done, goals to be achieved, there is no point stepping forward with a negative breath. I would rather, in those instances, stay still until that black wave passes and take the plunge when excitement for the end success nudges me on the ribs...

Enjoy the present, because this is what you were fighting for in your past. Slow down and savour just being. Be easier on yourself and compare yourself more with your old-self, and less with everybody else. It's good to know what goes around you as a guide but push yourself within your principles and not others.

Life experience so far has taught me that the most popular route is not the only route. And while it may be one highly rated, there are always other unexplored paths, usually with bonus chips, for your endeavour.

Uncertainty

2008-09-15T00:20:00.002+01:00

The uncertainties of life.

What seemed so certain once is no longer definite. It's sad, yet liberating. It's liberating, yet sad.

Life.

Sometimes you think you finally came to the conclusion to make the decision. You think the decision has got to be the right one, but time passes and the credence starts to fade... You wonder, if it is the situation, the external forces, or if it is yourself that has developed. But one cannot blame development for occurring.

I'm on my pessimistic mood. Pms perhaps.

Hope has started to vanish...hope is vanishing... maybe it's too late, maybe it's not the right time. Maybe it's me. I have an urge to chicken out.

I'm back on track

2008-08-28T00:13:00.004+01:00

I lay on the floor to "see the world from another point of view"

There and then I found the part of me that I had lost lately.

...

"As the foam disperses, the champagne fizzles smoothly in the glass"

...

Welcome back.

That

2008-08-22T23:44:00.010+01:00

It's weird how it makes you feel. Like you're not yourself, but at the same time it's almost like you're back to your old self.

You like it, but you dislike it.

I tend to fall into one of those endless loops of strings of thoughts.....circling...circling...circlingg...circling around the same set of thoughts over and over.. and over .. and over again..

I come to a conclusion once in a while. but 10 minutes later I fall back into the sea of mud and find myself struggling to keep afloat.

So sometimes I write to myself, as a 3rd person, giving myself advice like I'd give to others. It's harder than you think but it turns out to be surprisingly useful to read a detached version of myself. No wonder my friends say I'm quite enlightening.

Then again, do I just say what people want to hear?

When nothing else works.. and I find myself still trapped in that turbulent flow of thoughts, I resolve to coming here. It seldom proves to make any sense to other readers other than myself - what I write about. The more sensitive the topic, the more abstract the post.

Here I am, feeling at the top of the world and feeling like an idiot at the same time. A side of me tells me to keep on going. The other side asks me why I bother so much.

Frustrating.

If that keeps getting onto my nerves I'm just gonna shut my system down.

I found it

2008-08-20T01:02:00.000+01:00

and I've made up my mind.

What I've learnt

2008-08-05T22:09:00.008+01:00

St has taught me that everyone should be given a second chance. I truly admire her genuine faith in people. So genuine that I can't help but question my harsh judgement of some...

Sj has shown me patience. Real patience.

I've... been meditating.

___________

It's been 1 yr since I started work. Tomorrow it'll be exactly one year. I told myself long ago that after this holidays I'd rev up my life and push towards being:

more organised

more efficient

more confident

more daring

more hardworking

...

grab every opportunity I can to upgrade my skills..

be even more recognised by my seniors

I'm so career minded, but that's the whole point of my being here.. That's all I have in the UK. My career.

_________

All I think about is my work.. I've sort of lost touch with the more humane side of life. Love, for example. Where is it? It comes.. and it goes... it escapes. or I let it escape.. I get lazy, get impatient, lose faith in possibilities...

St and Sj have reminded me how one has to be patient and believe in areas as such.

Put a lil effort and stand back to watch the seeds grow...

Watch the seed grow, cris. not leaving them to grow and disappear somewhere else.

She says I have a gift

2008-07-31T22:04:00.005+01:00

A gift of listening to people and guide them along the most suitable route.

she says she felt so good after speaking to me. After being so troubled for days, just one phonecall and her sky was cleared. She thanked me for the impartial advice

he said i give the best support... that i always clear his mind when he's troubled.. that it always lifts his spirits after our deep conversations..

she says I'm really really good at slipping into other people's skin and giving constructive views..encouraging people to eventually make the right decision..or coming to the right decision together

she said a lot of other nice things about me..

that was sweet=)

Maybe.. I do have a little gift, to share with my friends.

2008-07-30T23:41:00.001+01:00

Keep looking forward

After thoughts

2008-07-28T18:18:00.013+01:00

I'm feeling the depression again. It's like this perpetual thing in my life that comes in waves and drowns me. When I stop and think about my life in the big picture. When I realise the things I've missed out by pursuing what I'm living now.

I know, I'm lucky. I've gone far.

But I've left a trail of priceless treasures on the way.

I've figured out that the more happiness you feel the more pain you feel after that.. or, the more pain you feel the more happiness you feel after that...You want what you cannot have. Maybe that's why I love you all so much.. cos I can never have you all with me, not for the forseeable future..yet.

But no, that's not it.. I simply love the person you make of me, and the person you make me want to be. Even after so long, I still can't help but feel the emptiness left in me whenever we part.

How can I describe this? I've tried to become realistic, materialistic even. I've strived for myself and thought for my own future.

Sometimes I'm fed up of moving around so often. But I can't help wanting more.. somewhere along the line I've built a wall between me and the ones I've known after you. To prevent unnecessary attachment to an inevitable departure.

Then you come and remind me of how I used to be with people. How I used to shower everyone with unconditional care. I feel ashamed of myself now.

Many times I've felt that I needn't interact/get too close with some people since they were just passing clouds, because I should save this effort for someone else more important. Then this feeling moved on and spread to most people.. until I felt I needn't put in any effort..

So I stopped writing cards, stopped getting little gifts, stopped sending silly SMSes... stopped making effort.

I used to be like you. always doing little and meaningful things for others. Now I hardly do any of that stuff. and actually feel comfortable with that.

I think about doing good.. but seldom carry out any..

Maybe this is growing up. You choose your friends too carefully you end up having so few new good friends

run

2008-02-21T23:45:00.001Z

i need to run to maintain my sanity.

i need to run

to deal w this

i need to go to the gym

2008-02-19T22:56:00.007Z

As soon as I hung up the phone, I ran to the toilet
to throw up.

Or at least I had a compelling urge to throw up...

Those words.. that message..

It sounded so bad

It made my stomach revolt its inside.

For once I understood why characters in movies would throw up as a reaction...

I still feel like emptying my stomach..

I can't digest those words

My swollen eyes.

Would anyone notice them at work?

I've been crying.

I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like this. I don't like this...

This is fact.

As real as your own existence.

A reality where Existence could fade..

.

2008-02-13T21:04:00.004Z

I'm so worried I can't even tell anyone

I scroll down my msn list...

I wanna burst out n cry n tell my closest friends what's been gg on but the thought of doing that would give credit to fact

and I can't, yet, face the reality

of the possibility

that I'm about to walk into a storm

A part of me tells me that i'm being overdramatic. silly. childish. imagining things.

A part of me reminds me that no, this is happening. for better or worse.

I wish, for once, that I could say I'm just a very silly girl.

When you tell them in the most casual voice you can manage

"Don't worry ok. There's no point worrying now. You're doing great."

and realise how your heart quivers inside..

You pray

for strength. no, not strength. if it weren't happenning you wouldn't need strength. you pray you wouldnt need the strength.

When the phone rings, it's reality check. When I'm at work, I can zone out. When I'm watchin series on my Imac I can enjoy the fantasy. Then the phone rings, and I'm brought into a grey turmoil.

Then after hanging up I sit here and drown myself in silence.

Pretend I don't exist. Pretend I'm merely part of the air...

Lazy Sunday morning

2007-10-28T01:20:00.000Z

I think i had too much tiramisu, it's keeping me awake at 1.20am. The clocks just turned back so technically it should be 2.20am in my body, and considering my bedtime is now very rarely past 1am, I reckon it's the coffee in the tiramisu keeping me up.

Don't know what else to write. Kinda got out of the habit of blogging since work began. uhhmm.. now.. the harder I try to think of what to write, the more sleepy I get. Seems like getting a proper post out of me issn't gonna happen.

Tmr I'll be gettin my IMAC!! =) online that is, so will have to wait a few more days till it arrives.

I cooked Paella again today + the mushrooms tapas. oh + red bean soup.

Feeling eyelids getting heavier...

nice... finally I can have a laaaazy sunday to do (or not do) whatever I want. Finally.

bedtime. I'm done. gdnight

I miss home

2007-10-24T23:11:00.000+01:00

I miss home
that smell. that feeling
where I'm safe
where nothing else matters..

where I don't overthink about things
where everything is fine and I can slump down on the sofa peacefully

I'm so homesick I can taste tears in my nose

I realised I won't be able to spend nmore time at home like I used to
as long as I'm working here

Three months in, it hits me
This is a new life.
Again.

Again. For the nth time, I'm rebuilding a life...

I love it, and I hate it.

Tho I guess I love it more than I hate it...

If only I could be like you...
enjoying company of your childhood friends,
working and living at home
not having to worry if people would *disappear from your life from one yr to another.

I want some order into my life but everywhere I look there is only uncertainty.

Or maybe... it's just me unable to settle down into the routine.

sup!

2007-10-06T00:49:00.000+01:00

CEnturies have passed since my last post. CENTuRies. Looking back, my foot.. was slightly fractured. That is why it hurt so much.
dumb.
but nway, didnt get bandages or anything. Doct said it'd be fine healing by itself. Well, it's almost healed now.. though I can still feel it sore sometimes.

**

Im so excited. Legoland tomorrow.
LEGOLAND
woohoo!!
LEgoland legoland leGolAnd lEgolANd LegOlANd LEGolAnd lEGOLANd LEGOLAND

2007-09-09T00:24:00.000+01:00

i wish i could feel better.. about...

Dumb

2007-09-01T23:47:00.000+01:00

Chinnie n I were watching the 2nd movie of the night, The Queen, it bore the hell out of us. I fell into deeeep sleep on the sofa. Woke up an hr later with my left leg totally asleep...numb. 100%.

Stood up without realising my left foot wasn't flat on the floor, put my weight wrongly somehow...

Now the top left part of my left foot hurts real bad cos I think I stretched a ligament or something. It's like when you twitst ur ankle only that now it's the foot you talking about...

....

haha..

I wanna laugh.. n cry...

LA Here I COME!!

2007-08-09T23:24:00.000+01:00

I'd been thinking that California could be a good place for my career because it's known to be expert in what I do (or so I've read), and that maybe I would go there some time, somehow. Always thought that my company only had an office in New York and nowhere else in the US.

Turns out they opened a new office in LA last year!!

WOOOT!

I might not move to London next year after all... might just go to LA straight!
Or I can still go to the London office for a year and then to LA next!

I'm so excitedddd I keep getting more and more options!!

OK, from now on I'm gonna put all my heart and soul into mastering IES and self-training hard after work so that I'll be able to go wherever I want to when time comes!

Seems like no1 can stop my desire to fly everywhere..

Buro Happold I love you=)

You make my world? I'll help you design it.

Holidays

2007-07-25T02:40:00.000+01:00

You lose track of time
You don't know what date it is.
Weekdays and weekends don't make a difference.
Shops opening times determine your day and night. When they open, it's daytime. When they close, it's night.

At night, you only care about dinner, tv, and sleep. Unless you go out for a couple of drinks.

Otherwise,
when dinner is over and rubbish morning infomercials take over the tv, there is only "sleep" left on the list to fulfill.

But you don't feel like going to bed. only feel like wasting time. This is the only time you can waste time and not wake up guilt-striken the next morning.

You decide to surf through facebook, friendster, yahoo mail, hotmail, gmail, youtube...and finally think that it might be a good idea to drop by your own blog and write some nonsense out of your half-asleep state.

Which probably bores you enough to face your bed.

gdnight.

God speaks with me

2007-07-17T23:09:00.000+01:00

or at least I'd like to think so.

Went to the doc's with dad for the analysis results. She said there could be a possibility that dad could be ill. rather ill. almost very ill.

I don't like to use that word.

And made an appointment with the specialist.

We then went for a walk around town (Barcelona), did some shopping for my dad, had a drink. Then i went to meet up with a friend I hadn't seen in years. Had another drink with him, and caught up a little.

After he left, I walked around town a bit to clear my head.. didn't know whether I should worry or what I could do. decided to go to FNAC listen to a couple of CDs. Randomly picked up 2, hoped they'd soothe my anxiety/confusion, or send me a breath of enlightment. I scanned one and it wouldnt play. I scanned the other and it wouldnt play either.

There was a pack of 3 CDs right on top of the scanner-player so I just took it n scanned it.

Immediately, it played

"Don't worry... be happy!"

haha..

Bobby McFerrin's "Don't worry be happy"

I felt a my eyes well up, while i smiled..

Hope I can trust this.. God bless...

I have to share this!!!

2007-06-14T00:50:00.000+01:00

I got FIRST CLASS for my dissertation!!!

WOOOT!!

WoOohOOoOOo!!!

Emailed my supervisor to ask him for some comments cos I couldn't wait till they release the results, n he replied an unexpectedly longggggg email with

very good

" ...A really good mark and just considered to be a First Class piece of work.

The presentation of the work was excellent. The use of English was clear and diagrams were used to good effect. Particularly you were able to use your results well and developed some useful conclusions. This is an important plus point..."

and very constructive

" The next comment is a bit of a double edged sword. You considered the advice I gave you to good effect, you worked hard to explore those issues that we discussed and you were altogether an excellent student. However,you might have developed some aspects a bit further on your own account, and I think you should develop a bit more confidence in your own judgement. I believe I saw this develop within you as thesis went on and I do hope this was so... "

comments.

My friend Jenny from class told me one day that she dreamt of me telling her that I got First for my dissertation. And indeed I have! Do you want her number? lol..

Hip hip! Hurray!!!

The long days and nights of effort and stress by this computer have paid off...

Updates soon

2007-06-13T01:31:00.000+01:00

but before that,

Let me say that

I am really really happy these days=)

Happy everyday=)

yes, I'm very happy

I'm a happy girl

Back from Road Trip

2007-05-29T01:09:00.000+01:00

Last Friday midnight we suddenly decided to rent a car and go on a short road trip.

Eventually it lasted ~ 800++miles

so many photos. crazy videos. =) . Had so much funnn..

Can't wait for the main road trip we had planned for next week. which falls on my Birthday!

im tired. have lots of things to sort out tmr: housing, final project exhibition stuff..

Need Kuoooli-ty sleep=)

I'm still alive I'm still alive

2007-05-24T00:13:00.000+01:00

I'm just enjoying my new found freedom so haven't been socialising online much.

Love crunchyroll=) always. forever.

Doing some serious house-hunting with a spear and shield...

Sleep. eat. crunchyroll. cook. sleep. crunchyroll. friends. walk. sports. sunbathe. eat. stroll. bake. laugh. crunchyroll. sleep.

Tonight is a night to remember

2007-05-16T23:50:00.001+01:00

This is my last night. Last night revising for an exam as a student.

The last night of my life revising as a student.

If I repeat it a few times, the significance of this night knocks on me rather hard..

It feels weird, almost nostalgic. To think that my student life will end in just about 12 hrs from now. I almost don't want it to end.

Twenty years of school. A whole lifetime. Tonight is my last night in this life....

My heart is beginning to feel a lil sour. I think I'm gonna lick every letter off my notes and savour these last couple of hours

as a student.

2007-05-15T16:11:00.000+01:00

i need to breathe

The ultimate antidote

2007-05-12T18:39:00.000+01:00

When nothing else works,

Not coffee
Not cereals
Not chocolate milk oats
Not upbeat music
Not even dancing in the room...

Go to your nearest shop and get a Chocolate Muffin and a bar of milk/dark chocolate,
Pour yourself a glass of cold milk.
Sure it feels good now...

Back to work.

"Happy Mother's Day (More Than Love)" - Original Song

2007-05-10T21:56:00.000+01:00

[D.Choi]

I've tried not to flood my blog with his vids, but this time it's kinda hard man.. because he loves his mum, and so do I.love his mum. for creating him.

haha, naa, I love mine=)

hmm...but..maybe I do love his mum..cos I love him a lil too..

ahh.. I have so much love.

But no, not for exams.

I'm on the road to insanity... mummm..

2007-05-10T12:41:00.000+01:00

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ASEPRIagkreal;tpjawe;toauiwerw302-42iqpo0tkihswp

What? What you say? You don't understand what I just wrote?

Ah, I see....

I don't either.

My head feels like it's filled with a thick letter soup. Everything that goes in merely gets mixed with this incoherent paste.

PREPIX - streetjam 2005

2007-05-05T21:54:00.001+01:00

How coooooool is that???

Superstitious? - Kevjumba

2007-05-03T14:02:00.000+01:00

Brain cell regeneration. Any tips?

2007-05-02T23:29:00.000+01:00

After battling through some 83 pages of MS-Word, printing half a stack of white 100gsm paper n some others of 120gsm, emptying a couple of black and colour ink catridges... n kungfuing my Monday through like JAckie Chan's Rush Hour2, I've sunk into a 'Void' mental state.

I can feel it. .. i cant even think of the right word now...

Much of my brain cells has perished.

Even though I took a break yesterday, I still feel that I havent recovered them. Don't they reproduce themselves?

Monday, after accomplishing Mission 1, I dazed through the rest of the evening... went to Sainsbury's for groceries..I'd think of something to buy, walk till the end of the isle and forget what I wanted. I'd stop, think, remember.. walk to my destination, get distracted by something else, pick that something up, put it down, and forget again what I was gonna get.

At some point, I found myself walkin round and round.... groceries proved an impossible task to do.

Today, started doing some light revision for the upcoming exams.. n I can feel the drop in concentration span. Mum always said "Eat fish n you'll be smarter. Take cod oil capsules." I do!... perhaps I should increase my dosage to boost the regeneration of those brain cells.

Brain damage. I feel mentally challenged. Incapacitated.

Went running this evening, to work that squishy organ of mine, give it a bit more fresh air and some endorphins...

Now It's telling me I'm done for the day. Hardly midnight and I'm nodding off...

Right boss, Mr. Brain, your wish is my command. Off to bed. Goodnight.

Done

2007-05-01T11:37:00.000+01:00

83 pages

15 credits

Handed in yesterday. barely 20min b4 office closed.

12-hr sleep straight. still feeling kinda soft. like egg pudding.

Last day of dissertation

2007-04-29T12:29:00.000+01:00

These days:

My brain works 24hrs. My body sleeps a measly number of hours but even then my brain refuses to shut down.

I dream about my dissertation
I wake up and my brain is already thinking about my dissertation
Before I wake up, I visualise myself finishing sentences of my dissertation
I dreamt of my bro saying to me that the layout thing I found would work
I dreamt paragraphs of my writings
I dreamt I was typing
I dreamt I was thinking while I typed

I wanna throw up a string of black Myriad Pro fonts

Writing a dissertation is like running a marathon. Gotta keep your pace slow and steady till you're about to see the finishing line, then you dash and squeeze every last drop of glucose in you.

It's barely past noon. I'm planning to finish this + print it in the next 12hours.

My body is fine. I still dance around my room.
My brain is gasping for air.

Night

2007-04-24T02:06:00.000+01:00

I love the night. Late night. When everyone else is asleep. When there is no outside distraction.

Just me and the night.

Just me and the music.

And lately,

Just me and my dissertation.

When twilight ends, and everything awakens, I can't help but feel being absorbed by everything under the sun. Now it's dark, and I'm back.

Time for some serious intellectual writing.

I find myself liking to work in this half-dazed state of mind. Like when you're high and dance your night away as if there is no tomorrow. Like Isaac Mendez in Heroes paints the future when he's doped.

When I'm half-asleep, I'm half-high, and my subsconscious takes over to do the work that my conscious self is always too slow to do.

Have I watched too much Heroes?

Back to work.

WHat is wrong wtih my body?

2007-04-20T22:08:00.000+01:00

Fatigue.

Im goin to bed now. 10pm.

Virginia Tech College, US

2007-04-18T14:30:00.000+01:00

News of the deadliest campus massacre in US history are slowly getting to this side of the world. Had initially heard bits and pieces of first-hand news from some friends in the US, but it was only until further reports and videos came out on the net that I began feeling rather disturbed.

My deepest condolences to the victims and the families.

May God bless you.

I have no words for this. I feel sad for the victims, for their loved ones, for the killer, for his family...

-sigh-

The reason I leave things till the 13th hour

2007-04-18T02:10:00.000+01:00

Major discovery, ladies and gentlemen, Miss Kuo has discovered the reason behind her perpetual procrastination. Why does she not do work during the day? Why does she not start real work till long after sunset?

It's all about the energy balance, ladies and gentlemen,

and the basic fight-or-flight human instinct.

Explanation:

When it gets dark, and after more than half of the 24hrs has been spent doing everything other than what's to be done, the Warning Signal in Cris's body goes off:

[Energy running low]

[Time running out]

Hence she focuses all the remaining resources on one, and one activity only - work. Adrenaline rushes into the bloodstream, such as when one comes across an emergency and is forced to flee or fight. Cristina is a fighter. Cristina fights her arduous battle with Excel and MSWord, Cristina fights long and hard.. never giving up till she's the last one standing.

Adrenaline + 120% focus reap a 300% efficiency.

300% @ 4 hours = 90% @ ~17 hours++

More than accountable for 15hrs of 0.05% productivity.

Ladies and gentlemen, you have just presenced a moment of great revelations.

Things I get from my friends

2007-04-15T14:17:00.000+01:00

Waichin just got back from Lake District

The Lake District National Park is the largest in England, covering fells, lakes, villages, towns and beaches.

She said she bought me a little souvenir, and the first thing that crossed my mind was:

a patch of grass, a jar of stones, or some water from the river...

Who would've thought that she'd buy me

A children's book

[original edition]

lol!!

Apparently Beatrix Potter lived around Lake District...

I read it out loud to myself just now, in the best British accent I could make. hehe.. It's been a longgg time since I felt like such a kid

"Now run along, and don't get into mischief. I am goin out."

1

2007-04-15T09:27:00.000+01:00

I've run out of things to say

2007-04-15T01:40:00.000+01:00

eallyI can only see tables and graphs and dots, circles, squares, numbers...Im not even looking at what im typing now. I;m staring at the ugly flowery rreddish curtain in fron tof me as my neck relaxes itself on the seat support.

my eyeslids are beginning to droop. in fact i think im falling asleep.. eyes half shut..

amazing how i can occontinue tying. wonder h ow many typos i;m making..

oh yea.. wat was i talkin about/// yea.. bout not havin anything to say cos ..omh an image of a peacock just flashed in my mind. .. random.. i cant focus.. as you've noticed.

crap

yeah.. i was tryin to say.. how my brain is inmersed in excel.. those little rectabgles which can concede you miracles. cut and paste. copy and paste. marvellous invention...

am still refusing to look at the monitor cos i want to let my eyes ease offf for a bit..

can feel my stomach churning on its acid.. -yawns- my eyes are drooping lower n lower.. im in a position that...

fell asleep for a sec.

ok this is enopugh , gona post tihs n go to bed.

goodnight

not again..

2007-04-13T10:19:00.000+01:00

it's 10am.

Already tired

v tired

My Dearest Sijie

2007-04-09T23:44:00.000+01:00

If you see this before you hear me,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

I Have not forgotten about your Birthday!!

I meant to call you but by the time I was gonna do it, it was too late in Singapore!

it's still 9April over here so...

I wish.. you'll think about me more often
I wish you'd give me some more love
I wish you'd send me more money
I wish you'd send me some food..

hahah...

Nah.... actually, I wish we could be back in Sec school and walk around town with a litre of Milk each. Just last week I was telling my friends about our milky habits... cos.. I bought a pint of milk to drink in the movies, n they thought it was rather queer..

But anyway,

I wish I could celebrate your birthday for you again.

Shame that last September was a lil too early to celebrate ur birth...Maybe you should've been more Sitian-ish n demand us to celebrate it for you too, in spite the 1/2yr difference. For once that we were all in Sg. haha..

Happy Birthday

May you have brighter days

Filled with countless smiles

Immense Love,

xxx Cris 07

Tired

2007-04-09T17:52:00.000+01:00

tiredtiredtiredtiredtired
tiredtiredtiredtiredtired
tiredtiredtiredtiredtired
tiredtiredtiredtiredtired
tiredtiredtiredtiredtired
tiredtiredtiredtiredtired
tiredtiredtiredtiredtired

I don't know why, but I'm

tiredtiredtiredtiredtired
tiredtiredtiredtiredtired

2 choices:

1. Take a nap
2. Do 50 starjumps

....

nap

NEver So upset over a sunny day

2007-04-09T10:47:00.000+01:00

Woke up this morning to a cloudy sky, and for once I was exhilarated.

2hrs later, it's sunny as hell can be.. and it just gets onto my already poorly developed nerves...

ARGHHHHHHhhhh

Is it too much to ask?? You British Weatherman!!! I neEd some clouds!!

Only have ONE reading left to take!

ONE

for an overcast day!!

Oh Com'on!! Give me some clouds! Do I have to do a Rain Dance or what??

Song of the night

2007-04-08T01:41:00.000+01:00

Whisper - Ernie Halter - Acoustic version

"Because of You" - Ne-Yo

2007-04-06T11:08:00.000+01:00

Exam-mode

2007-04-05T19:51:00.000+01:00

Slowly getting into this stressed-up mode, where all I can think of is work. Mornings, when I wake up and my heart starts accelerating as the schedule of the day runs through my mind. Plans, which I make but don't manage to fulfill.

The only thing I have on track is running and x-training. Maybe I spend too much energy there.. but it felt so good to run on the tracks today, under the sun=) 8 laps just whizzed past...

I've done most of my experiments for the windows.haha.. just got a couple more readings to take, so for the time being I'm supposed to be writing up on the background information....background information...kinda just fades into the background....

There's a business name card from my future company taped on top of my monitor. It's supposed to remind me that I better work my ass off now or they won't be giving me pocket money to buy my this and that and whatnots for the rest of my life.

That said, I still log on Youtube and crunchyroll. Recently found that one of my favourite Spanish comedy shows is on Youtube...
...
..

Well, I shall leave you with a newly uploaded song from my fav tube musician:

"Always Hurt" - Original Song by David Choi - Acoustic Version

Ooo.. What can I do? if guys keep falling for me?

haha

ok, that's meant to b sarcastic.

No wonder I'm beat

2007-04-01T17:47:00.000+01:00

5 miles =~ 8km

Did 10.5km running/x-trainer in the gym. ++

To burn off all that celebration food I've had these past few days.

I feel all soft.

**********

I'm sick of food

yea

Ya'll I got IT!

2007-03-29T17:44:00.000+01:00

I got the job!!!

no..

I GOT THE JOB!!!!

I GOT THE JOB!!!!

That's better

So, "YYYOoo!!" was just part of my complot

-ahem-

Congratulations to myself! CRIS You Rawwwwk!!

Dear Dean

2007-03-29T00:54:00.000+01:00

Welcome to the engineering world!

You know you're finally in this circle, when you can no longer write fluidly. Fluidly.-- This word exists doesn't it?

haha.. I felt the same longgg time ago...

Maybe now you can feel my pain as I struggle to finish each sentence. properly. everytime.

Well, at least we've learnt Greek. α+ φ [θω - 2ψ(σx +ζy+εξμλz²) ] ... =)

OH MY

2007-03-26T19:03:00.000+01:00

GOD

WHAT

DID

I

JUST

DO

HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAH!!!
HAHAHaAHHAAHAHAH!!

HAHAHahAHahAHah!!!

Shit... I don't know whether I should cry or Laugh...

YOU KNOW whAT I JUST DID?!

You know I said I wrote them an email to ask them abt my application status.. the lady was v nice n emailed me right back this mornin n apologised n said she'd b in position to tell me by this week...blahbalh... and then later in the afternoon, a couple of hours ago, one of the guys who interviewed me called me n apologised for the delay, and explained what they were doing etc etc.. I talked to him with my best behaviour and polite grammar and all.. all went fine.. after that I emailed the lady n said thanks, tried to appear v nice n sweet...

Not long ago, I was smsin my friend Ninja turtle.. and as I put down the phone I saw a missed call from my other friend. I pressed "Call back"

the phone rang for a while, my friend answered and I exclaimed,

"YYYOO!!"

and then i heard a guy's voice

"Hello this is Richard speaking"

Something didn't seem right. I immediately hung up. And 3sec later I realised what I just did.

I phoned my Interviewer from earlier today and said
"YO!!" !!!

and hung up

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!
HAHAHAHhahAHhAHHAhA!!
hAHAHhaHAHHHAHAhaHAHah!!!

f*ck I feel so embarrassed.

the worst thing is, it's not the 1st time I screw up callin/smsin the most inappropiate person in the world at that point in time.

HAhahAHHAhaha

The only thing that comforts me is that at least I didn't say something like

"YO!! WASSUp! Feeling lonely??"

Gawd... I hope he finds it as funny as I do.

This might just* be what they needed to confirm an acceptance to their firm.

ONE WHOLE WASTED DAY

2007-03-25T23:59:00.000+01:00

ARGH.. I hate it.

- I've wasted the whole day. Done nothing constructive. Nothing.

- Wrote an enquiry email abt my application status.

- Had lunch and dinner. Woke up too late for breakfast. No wait, I had my breakfast oatmeal for my lunch.

- Youtubed in the afternoon

- MSNed

- Internet-called my mum n bro.

- Crunchyrolled in the evening. Started on new series.

- Laundry.

- Tried to stop crunchyrolling... back to Tube.

- Took a blank piece of paper, in attempt to plan my work. Wrote 5 miserable lines. 10 words.

- Shafted the piece of paper to one side.

- Got out of Tube, went to Google.

- Googled random things/websites/people.

- Found some blogs from google. Read random people's blogs.

- Felt like a stalker. Went for a shower.

- Decided I'd go run/x-train for 8km tmr morning.

.
.
...

Those 10 words... were:

1. Dissertation
2. Structures 5 Exam
3. Facade Engineering Exam
4. Hydraulics Exam
5. Economics Essay

Deep fear of writing them out. Once on paper, they are staring back at me.. and I can just hear,

"ooO Crissie... You know what's awaiting you.. *sniggers* This is the start of your yearly hellish month. Oh yeah, c'on baby."

I swear I can see evil on that white paper..

I'm trying to run away from reality. Someone, help.

And so Easter Break begins..

2007-03-25T02:50:00.000+01:00

Eating till you're filled to the brim is bad for you.
Laughing with your filled stomach is painful. Extremely painful.

...

"AAhh don't STOP correcting my English!!!"

"You know you can use "justify" to make your paragraphs look like a neat reactangle.."

"I didn't know you could drag a box down in excel so all numbers appeared"

"I just found out that you could cut and paste from a PDF "

"You know the cleaner comes to the lib at 4am.."

"My coursemate was so sleepy he talked to the cleaner to keep himself awake"

...

There are so many things you can learn from your friends...

We had a workshop abt MSWord, Excel, Referencing systems, IE, Google.. after dinner. Must be the sugar rush. We started talking nonsense, and one thing led to another... and before we knew it we were well into exchanging tips on report typing. Shame. After almost 4 years in uni, with barely 3 months left... we found out many basic things that could've saved us hours/days of work if we had this chat 3 yrs ago.

Shame on us.

Shame on us all.

It was hilarious.

.

So Spring has officially begun, and Bath's Half-Marathon is tomorrow morning. If the weather permits, I might go n take a look..maybe. I just lost an hour due to the Daylight Saving thingy. My PC says it's 3am. My body says its 2. I refuse to let computers take over my life..

Though, I'm beginning to feel sleepy... it's all that chicken soup, baked wine chicken, stir-fry, black pepper beef, bread pudding, ice cream... finally digesting in my stomach. A word of advice,

Don't crack up while you're eating.
Trust me, it hurts like hell.

For now, I'm going to give in to this soothing satisfaction of having delicacies dissolving in my stomach, and go to bed. Not because the world says its 3. No.

Mixed emotions

2007-03-23T23:56:00.000Z

It's weird. I feel like I've just travelled around the world in 15min.

For some reason, I decided to explore the Americas on Google Map. Just one of those random things that occur to me.. maybe all those American shows n stuff have subsconsciously lead me there.

So, first I was lookin at the general geographical state of the continent, and then started zooming in and panning from one state to another.

Then I remembered, "hey, doesn't this thing have a satellite view?" and I clicked on it.. and wow, suddenly I felt like I was in one of those CIA, LAPD, SWAT movies where they track the movement of a chip stuck onto someone's car ... quite exciting.

From there I moved on and typed "Madrid". Still on aerial satellite view, I managed to find my way back to my house by following the major city landmarks and streets. In 3min, I found myself staring at my street.

I typed "Singapore" next, zoomed in and out a bit.. moved the map a little and when I switched to normal Map mode, I was lookin at my Secondary school's compound. I couldn't really recognise it from satellite view, but then of course I've never been to my school's roof. There was a very posh looking huge swimming pool right opposite my school. Where did that come from?? .. anyway, i traced back to my Aunt's place, then to Sitian's place (since it's so near) and then I realised something.

After 4 months, I realised: Why Sitian never received my Christmas Card. Because I sent it to the road next to hers. It should be Seletar Terrace and I wrote Seletar ROAD!! So much for staying over her place...yet not knowin the exact address. Damnit.

After that, it was "Barcelona". This was a little more tricky, because if you've been there before, you'd know that the city is made up of identical blocks, with only a diagonal street, actually called "Diagonal", across it... so I clicked on "hybrid" and soon I was lookin at my BCN house. Wondered what dad was doing..

I even typed "Bath", but quickly lost interest... the tiny odd-shaped town with spaghetti roads only reminded me that I'm still here. There's no much to see.

And so, within 15min or so, I feel like I've toured the world. Places I've been, places I've lived, places where loved ones reside... and places I'd like to go - U.S.A. - Haven't been, and have always wanted to.

It's amazing how small the world seems in a screen, how fast you can move from one continent to another, yet how much detail lies within each square as you zoom in. I feel funny now. Somewhat nostalgic, with a lil bit of excitement and a lil bit of disappointment plus a glimpse of hope...

Easter Break has officially begun, but this year I'm confining myself to Bath in order to attain a higher level of wisdom. Maybe that is why I've gone to see home on google map, since I won't be goin back to Spain. *shrugs*

By the way, yesterday's post about you, my friends, being stalkers has given my gd old friend YH in Malaysia the drive to write me an email sayin that he reads this everyday in the office... because he's bored and I brighten up his mornings.=) One stalker has unveiled himself. Sweeet.

This is gettin real long. I prolly should go to bed and stop ranting...no class tmr.. so the more the reason I should sleep. Gdnight x

I Have to Deal With Stereotypes - Kev

2007-03-23T19:33:00.000Z

HAHAHAHAHaHAhAHahAH
HAHAHahAhah!!!!

THis is possibly the funniest sh*T I've seen EVER

LOL!!!

Life on Stand-by

2007-03-22T14:26:00.000Z

I realised that my entries are getting shorter and shorter, with no much insight into my life and rather been posting more and more vids or some random abstract things... Can't help it. I feel like I'm on Stand-by mode, lying dormant till I get that freaking reply from them so that I can move on with my life.

That's all I can think of now... well.. and maybe Whittard's Hazelnut Coffee.

That's my recent addiction. I wish I could drink 8 cups of that instead of water, but I think that's not a very good idea.

Sometimes I wonder who still comes to my blog, since hardly anyone leaves comments, except for the usual few... and then I wonder, that perhaps you have some sort of stalker-behaviour. You come in and read my stuff and then leave quietly w/o saying "Hi".. then when I try to update you about recent news you say, "oh yeah I read it on your blog.", or pretend you didn't read about it cos you don't want to let me know that you know I have a blog.

This has been going on since I opened this blog, some 3 years ago. Now I just write mostly for myself and a few whom I think they come and check out on me every once in a while, and probably a couple more of stalkers such as Miss Heryanti (my sec sch teacher). I still don't know how she found this and it just makes me a little self-conscious of who I'm exposed to. Not that I don't like you reading this M Heryanti, you know how much we lov you=). Oh and by the way, I sent you an e-mail like you said but I'm still waiting for your reply! Please don't just watch me from you home... it's a lil creepy. Talk to me! Oi!

Today WC and I were chatting about food in Asia, and about how shops/places of interest were open till midnight... and how I was so excited to see sober people out in the streets at 11pm in Taipei, shopping, eating, hanging out....when I went back last Sept. I can never complain enough about this but let me say it again:

Shops/leisure spots closing at 5.30pm in Bath gets on my nerves!

So, the point is, we were chatting and I said that if everything goes well, I'll try to go back and visit my Asian counterparts next summer(2008). After I get a job, save up, get my orthodontic treatment done (including that jaw operation), I'll go visit everyone again=).

Some 2 weeks ago, my mum suddenly asked if I wanted to go back Taiwan this summer after I graduated, to have some fun before working. I couldn't believe that she asked me such a thing, since we don't usually go back 2 summers in a row... but before I could say anymore, she said,

"If you want to, you can work for a month in Uk, and pay your trip like last year. You know I don't have money=)..."

...

Isn't that mean?? I never thought of going so soon, I thought she was gonna sponsor me on that...but she gave me a bubble of hope only to burst it 2min later. Then when I asked her why did she even ask me that, she just aswered innocently, "Hmm.. I don't know, I just thought you might like to go Tw n sg see everyone.."

-shakes head-

Anyhow, I'm still refreshing my uni e-mail page every 10min, and there are no high-lighted messages. It's 15.20, my project management coursework is still waitin for me on the other IE window. I better not sit and stare at it all day like I did yesterday. I don't know why the world invests so much $ and time to achieve The Fastest Way To Weightloss, when there is a more prominent issue we should tackle:

How to Beat Procrastination - The Fast Way

That's the root to all our problems. All. Or at least to mine.

Could some scientist please start a world-wide research on this?

Now, please. Don't leave it for later.

To: David Choi

2007-03-21T15:08:00.000Z

click to enlarge

Happy Birthday!=)

May you have the most wOnderful year filled with

Happiness, Health and Wealth!

Thanks for the awesome music you bring into our lives and

Best of luck in upcoming jobs!

I believe you'll go faaar faaaar... faarrrr. Farther than ur sky dive.

I'd hav sung you a birthday song but I'm afraid I can't sing for nuts.=P

Take care lots n see u on The Tube! or ur chatbox=)

Best wishes,

Cris a.k.a ckl

First time donating blood

2007-03-19T21:22:00.000Z

Went surprisingly smoothly... almost felt like we went just for the heaps of cookies, tea, and juice. Kai used to get paid to ~~donate~~ sell blood when she was in California. Damn, for that I'd give blood everyday like a cow gives milk. well.. sort of.

Too bad they don't pay us in UK, plus there's a limit of 3 times/yr max. I wonder who'll get my precious top-of-the-cream haemoglobin...

It feels kinda weird to see someone collect a bagful of red liquid from you, and handle it like a hot-water pack.

Bet it felt warm. lol.

Today 17 March 2007

2007-03-17T22:24:00.000Z

[22.20]

I have pledged to myself that

Once I start working and save up enough money,

I will buy myself a digital piano

I can no longer live with this regret of letting go of a passion I had.

The Oath (FFVIII Piano Collections)

Been watchin/listening to musicians vids for a while on YouTube. And everytime, something in me unlocks and I stop everything else I was doing.

My fingers even started playing the tune on the table.

Finally over

2007-03-16T22:07:00.000Z

everything went well, everything went smoothly...
We talked, we laughed..He winked..

I'll just sit n wait for the (hopefully) good news nxt week=)

David Choi

2007-03-13T11:38:00.000Z

"Don't Mess With Me and My Homies" - Original Song - Acoustic Version

"...Don't mess with me my homies
cuz we play with little white ponies
please don't whip out your mace
Don't spray this pretty little face
Don't mess with me my homies
Cuz we still live at home with our mommies
and I don't want to have to cry, anymore..."

lol he gives me the giggles

"That Girl" - Original Song - Acoustic Version

Going crazy

2007-03-12T23:02:00.000Z

my brain hurts

I just did a freaking long personality test asking the same things over and over... and over and over and over... and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over... and over and over and over... and over and over and over and over and over... and over and over and over and over and over again and over and over and over...and over and over and over...and over and over and over again for 108 Pages

They were alllllll the same but just in slight different expressions!!

At first it was quite exciting to receive an invitation for a 2nd interview from Company A within 1 day of sending my application. The lady said the online personality test would be 10min.

My fOot! and socks! and shoes! Bullshit!!

108 Pages of: Choose Most and Least out of the 4 options below

I like to be with people
I like to win
I enjoy helping others
I make decisions without hesitation

I enjoy the company of people
I am fast making decisions
I hate to lose
I am ambitious

something like that.

the website said ~50min, tho there's no time limit.

It doesn't help that I've been readin up on "Questionnaire Design / Behaviour Analysis" books to create one for my dissertation. So without even wanting to do so, all I could think was "Why are they using this word instead of that previous one?" "is there a difference?" "Are they out to get me?" "Are they trying to drive me mad??"

It took almost double that 50min.

My brain juices have been squeezed dry.

Gawd! this is inhuman! I like personality tests, but that was the worst Psycho test i've ever taken in my life. And I have taken almost everything possibly found (free) on the internet.

I'm not sure

2007-03-11T16:25:00.000Z

I've ever felt this way.

If I have, it must have been a long time ago.

I can hardly breathe, my heart pounds..I can't think of anything else except

I Want it

I want it want it want it want it want it.

Can't concentrate on anything else. Imagination takes over my thoughts, my mind wanders off to bright hopes... Dreams played to perfection, I gaze out the window and my future appears in vision.

I have made my decision. That decision.

Ah, now I remember the last time I took a life-changing path - when I chose to apply to Bath as 1st and Imperial 2nd. It was all or nothing. Same when choosing Sec school. I seem to like to gamble with my life. Fortunately I've had luck on my side, or perhaps I've always subsconsciously known my odds.

Parallel situation.
I want it, and only it. Though now it's the complex reality I'm playing with. Stakes are higher, but risks lower.

Life is a gamble. I love the adrenaline rush. Maybe too much, maybe I should go for a run...

Romeo & Juliet - Kissing You

2007-03-09T22:32:00.000Z

Me and the gym

2007-03-07T22:30:00.000Z

There's always been something between me and the gym. Something about those machines, that filtered air, people running in the same direction - each lost in their own thoughts -, something about the multiple tvs, headphones, big swiss balls, ~~smelly big guys~~ ...that had me going back for more..

Today, while my legs and arms were pumping on the x-trainer, my mind drifted to some very strange thoughts. One of which was :

Motivation-Time Graph

This is the exact visual I had in mind while working out.

I have currently reached:

Addiction Level

Finally, I can feeeeel it. Again. It took me a while to get back on track, but here we are! Hello, Daily Adrenaline. Byebye, fat %.

It's 23.00 now, and I'm getting excited by the mere thought of running and xtrainin tmr morning. I felt the same thing last night. And the night before.

Obsession

Queen vs Queen

2007-03-05T23:05:00.000Z

oooOOO!!

2007-03-03T00:58:00.000Z

Yes! YeS! YES!!

I just made THE Discovery of the Year!!!

YES!!!

So I wasn't wrong!!!

My first impression was right!

My judgement was correct!

YES!!!

I'm normal!!

YES!!!

The worst 30sec of the day

2007-03-01T00:15:00.000Z

Why?! oh WHY??!

WHY DO I have to subject myself to such atrocious AGONY Everynight?!

LISTERINE

VILE!!

WHAT IS WRONG with them??

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?? WHAT ARE THEY THINKING??! They're making even more powerful liquids!!

At this pace you gonna dissolve my braces with it!!

ARh!! the worst 30sec of the day..I'm in tears, and I can't feel my tongue.

CNY's Eve Dinner Photos

2007-02-27T19:29:00.000Z

Before the 15-day Chinese New Year celebration is over, Here are the

Chinese New Year's Eve Reunion Dinner Photos

(Each of us had to make 1 dish)

so that those of you in Asia w/o facebook won't forget that I still do exist.

Also,
I know my promise is like 6months overdue ... but here are the

Photos we took whilst my visit to Singapore and M'sia

I'm not usually a fan of posting too many photos on my blog...cos I feel I need some privacy.. but since we're at it, what the heck

Here are photos from Warner Bros Park Madrid

(amusement park)

Bro had bought the Christmas season special opening tix as my pressie=)

I loooove goin to the Warner..again and again...and again..

Microsoft iPod

2007-02-27T11:29:00.000Z

Here I am

2007-02-26T23:57:00.000Z

standing at a life turning point.

The choice I make this coming month will determine..everything

Otro coursework de esos

2007-02-24T20:50:00.001Z

que tienes que escribir sobre una infraestructura ya terminada y criticar el proceso de construcción, gestión, la calidad....etc etc..

Lo cual significa que lo haré sobre algo que esté en España, o que tenga la mayoría de la información en la web en Español. Más que nada porque asi me ahorro el riesgo de que me acusen de plagiar ya que traducir una hoja de Español a Inglés, es... traducir, no plagiar ¿no? Encima puedo evitar coincidir con otros compis de clase. ¡que genia!

Eh. que no me hago la lista eh... Bueno, a lo mejor un poco, pero este es un truco de vagos. jeje..

Así que me he decidido en la nueva terminal T4 del Aeropuerto de Barajas, Madrid.

Y antes de que la gente que no se entera de este post se vaya de mi página, os pongo un Youtubi

English Version

A que moooola.

Y además en inglish. Que no se quejen.

I'm still laughing

2007-02-22T22:52:00.000Z

even after the video has finished playing.

Those YouTube personal Vlogs are making me cry with laughter...HAHAhAhahaah..... I can't post them here cos there're too many. I think im suffering from an accumulation of watching too many "featured" vids in 1 day.

Who needs TV?

lOL!!...

People in the YouTube world are Awesome man.. I'm considering joining them. Maybe. But I won't let you guys know. Prolly disguise myself with some funky cheesy nick like sweetycandy15. cos I'm shy.

Breakfast videos of the day

2007-02-22T10:12:00.000Z

Beatboxing flute inspector gadget remix

Beatboxing flute super mario brothers theme

How coOol is that!?!

I've always wanted to learn the flute when I was little, tho not quite in that sense, I only got as far as the recorder... and I was quite good with the piano and guitar u know, but it all went down the drain once I was sent to S'pore to study when I was 10. If only my parents had "brought me up" a bit longer, I might have just mastered at least 1 instrument.

Maybe I wouldn't be doing engineering.

For now, I just listen to my dad play the guitar over Voipstunt whenever he learns a new piece. Haha he wants to post a vid on YouTube too!

Maybe.. I should really put some effort in music now.

My LCD

2007-02-20T21:41:00.000Z

I've recently become too comfortable in my room, probably since I got myself a new TFT LCD a couple of weeks ago. I no longer find pleasure in the lib PCs, not even in doing random socialising with those on lib lev3.

I find myself spending more and more time in my room, with the justification that I ought to do my dissertation (that thing about individual human response to windows) and the management essay; and that by gazin out the glass walls in the library, it is either too depressing because of the constant gloom outside, or that the occassional sunny days make the idea of strolling under the sun a temptation too hard to ignore.

Sure I have a huge window right in front of me, but ever since that sunny day last week I escaped from lev3, Weatherman hasn't bestowed us any more of that sun in Bath, giving me no much reason to leave the comfort of my seat. So, I spent 2 lazy days watching Heroes from Epi1 to 15, and.. many more hours crunchyrolling and youtubing.

Yea, I'll try get some stuff done tonight. That YouTube stuff really isn't good you know, I tried to give it up by focusing on crunchyroll (though it sounds counter-productive). Then my bro showed me the video below. Not being able to get the songs out of my head is one thing, not being able to get YouTube out of my head bcos of that YouTube Love Song is...just not helping with my situation.....Still, I love it. David Choi Rocks!!

***

Some time ago, I had a lil chat with my supervisor regarding my desired choice of work in practice, to clear my doubts before making applications. He said he'd arrange for me to speak to a few firms and let them show me what it's like and what they did, which is an awesome opportunity! Today he gave me a contact to arrange a time with and offered to give me a lift if I needed transport, since it's pretty far..... wow, I don't know what to say. Is that even acceptable? As in.. well.. I didn't expect he'd go to such great lengths. haha... it just doesn't seem something normal lecturers would do. Pple at the company might think he's my guardian or something lOL.. Don't get me wrong, he's CoOl.. I might just say yes, cos I can't think how else I'll go.

Wait, that's gonna have some added value for my visit, right? With my CV prepared to be slipped on the table, and my senior-lecturer-who-has-given-me-a-lift walking into the office beside me... that is gonna make some impression. hAhaha

Btw, don't know if you're reading this but I just emailed you Miss Heryanti.. so check your email!

Why do I suddenly feel like such a geek? Getting along so well with teachers...hmmm.. ok, I rly better go do some more research, n slp earli-er. Gym tmr morning. No excuse.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!

2007-02-18T16:46:00.000Z

新年快乐！

I don't have time for wishings...

My breath was taken away.

by

David Choi

"Valentines" - Original Song - Acoustic Version

I see a couple strollin down the street
They're so in love, there's not a worry
and to the clock they said goodbye, they ain't in a hurry
And sometimes I feel kind of lonely
ask myself where is my one and only
until she comes to me, I'll wait
until then I shouldn't be feeling this way

Won't let no Valentines get me down
or when Christmas time comes around
just cuz I'm alone right now
don't' mean I should hold a frown

oh in the meantime love is here you'll find
the simple things that slip your mind
the joy of hope for better days
you know that love can find it's ways

When you finally find the one who you can call your own
you can tell yourself the wait was worth it all
cuz you got something to last forever

I can smile cuz there's so much in store
the futures holds for me more than I will ever know
shouldn't make no room for feeling sad

Won't let no Valentines get me down
or when Christmas time comes around
just cuz I'm alone right now
don't' mean I should hold a frown

oh in the meantime love is here you'll find
the simple things that slip your mind
the joy of hope for better days
you know that love can find it's ways ...

"You Tube" (A Love Song) - Original Song - Acoustic Version

When I wake up in the morning youtube
when I dream at night, youtube
in the middle of the day, youtube
you consume my life, youtube

I can't help, but think of you
I just love the things you do
allow the people,
to post our videos, we love you youtube

I like the founders
some Asian and some white dude
but more than you
I love youtube

When I wake up in the morning youtube
when I dream at night, youtube
in the middle of the day, youtube
you consume my life, youtube

youtube, you can comment all over me
youtube, will you make passionate love to me
you can respond to my video if you'd like
I'll post one right back, oh I think I might

could you add me to your favorites
and I'll post on your bulletin
maybe send you a message
if you promise to write me back
I'll log in and out to please you
oh you know the things I'll do
oh youtube, oh youtube

When I wake up in the morning youtube
when I dream at night, youtube
in the middle of the day, youtube
you consume my life, youtube

This guy's music/singing/lyrics is Godly awesome.
..
.
He sings my inner voice
.
.
.
He's moved me to tears,
n made me laugh to tears.

__________________________________

Doesn't he look a lil like So Jisub?

Is today one of THOse* days?

2007-02-08T11:18:00.002Z

[11.oo] I woke up 2 hrs ago, even b4 the alarm went off. Had breakfast, had coffee, had vitamins, had eXtra breakfast.. made sandwich for lunch. Am ready clothed for uni.

But am falling asleep as I speak to sj online.

And I'm considering the choice of going back to bed...

But.. I even put mascara on today!

....my lids are gettin heavier as I type... I think, i might just go sleep on the consequences of sleeping after waking up.

Maybe I'll wake up a couple of hrs later n decide to go to the lib. Maybe.. I'll end up crunchyrolling at home.. maybe.... I'll...sleep...ahh .. its gettin.. hard.. to.. focus..

***************

[16.30] Woke up almost 4hrs later after i went back to bed after waking up. Surely this is a symptom of PMS

"Fatigue: This is the most common symptom of PMS. Women with PMS may feel so tired they can barely get through the day. Some women also may have trouble sleeping at night. "

I would just like to think that I am not really such a pig.

Words

2007-02-05T21:43:00.000Z

There are so many things I want to say,

so many things I don't want to know

so many things I want to ignore...

so many things I want to know,
so many things...

I sit here, waiting for words to flow and make some coherent sense..

Thoughts and doubts,

what if?

how?

why?

FOCUS

I feel being ripped off myself.
What I want
what I am
what it seems
what will be...

What is now, will be then?
What was then, is not now.

-- Has decided. without a glance back. Without a hint of remorse.
Perhaps, I'm looking at my reflection.

I have no time/I fill the space up.

I don't want to show - we put up a show.

Rare times are those that I use this space to insinuate the faint shadow of my disillusion with _ _ _ _ _ _

That is it. There is only so much I can accept and endure.

The unspoken world is where the truth lies.
The unspoken rules of life.

At least, I still hold onto my principles. But from here forth, I shall be travelling on the express lane.

Adios.

Anime! Drama! STREAMING! God bless me

2007-01-30T22:06:00.002Z

crunchyroll dot com

is heaven...

All I can think of is..

crunchyroll dot com

I have already told many of you about it.

Bro gave it -the link- to me long time ago, but I never clicked on it cos I was scared of the consequences if I did so. Now sem1 is over, I decided I had to confront my addiction.. with the moral support of every1 of you. At least if I fail, I won't be the only one.

"One for all, and all for one.
If I'm going to die, it shall not be alone."

The creator of this site committed a horrible sin.

And now I'm compelled to drive everyone to doom ...

Enjoy=)

Going home=)

2007-01-20T10:09:00.000Z

Going home during term time, in itself, is one thing
Going home during term time and after exams, is another thing.
Going home during term time and after exams, while everybody else is still having exams

is like

wow

..indescribable

It makes the whole experience 50times better.

Damn. I'm enjoying this.

See you in a week's time! I'm flying to Madrid today~~ If the weather permits- I got blown away, literally, 2 days ago.

Can't take my eyes off you

2007-01-17T16:42:00.000Z

I apologise for the video, or rather, that the video has those 2 dancers

-hehehe-

Just heard this song over Yahoo! Radio ( it rocks!! Credit to Waichin's recommendation) and had to put it on here so I could keep replaying it. I understand that Vintage is the thingy going on now, but please boys..

Don't ever wear that and do such a dance, ok?

Unless, of course, if you're really hot, or if you're Rain.

HAHAHAHa

2007-01-15T23:41:00.000Z

I'm Laughin So hard while trying to do some reinforced soil calculations for exams!!!

X-Factor Penelope

X-Factor Rachel

"She's got the BLING BLING!" << HAhahAHah

X Factor Granny

"LISTEN Simon!"
.
.
"Sorry" << LOL!!

Leona - A Moment Like This

2007-01-15T22:07:00.000Z

It's been a while..

2007-01-13T14:15:00.000Z

since I wrote here. And I'd like to blame it on something, or everything, other than myself. For example,

I had been excessively busy during the months before X'mas with those insane projects n stuff going on at the same time.

Then Christmas holidays came, and for 3 weeks I was in Spain...switching into couch-potato mode with my bro and mum, brought Weizhong, Keng Rui, Gim Hui (Sec. Sch mates from Anderson times) n their many friends around Madrid for a couple of days, caught up with my Spanish Chinese mafia, enjoyed my best Xmas present ever from my bro - A day in Warner Bros Park...

and continued my couch-potato mode with him in Barcelona (this is what I call good sibling r/ship), only getting worse as the whole Spain switched to festive mood and every channel every night seemed to be competing for audience with every other channel. And it's not like we have digital TV! For instance, Saw2, Hannibal, and Tha Last Samurai was shown one night at the same time! How would you choose what to watch at 9pm Prime Time with dinner? ..well.. actually, just not Saw2 cos it doesn't go when u're trying to eat.

Yea, so it's also the Spanish TV's fault that I hadn't written here.

Now, came back to Bath last week n its revision time for exams next wk. Ironically, this is the most valid reason that I could have for not updating. Well, you know, me and The Art of Procrastination.

A picture's worth a thousand words

2006-12-13T02:57:00.000Z

..so...

If I have 3, that's 3000 words.

Could I just write 500 for the report then?

Facebook

2006-12-11T23:30:00.000Z

I have to stop procrastinating.

now.

now....

NOW

nah, its not working..

I still have a last coursework that counts a whole module, and I've hardly touched it so far. It's due on Fri between 2-4pm. I'm doing everything except writing that dreadful report, things such as facebooking. Argh facebook. It really sucks up my time.. but then again I might be blaming the innocent for my own sins.

But facebook, is like the perfect portal to never ending procrastination.

Somehow, "News Feed" filled with those blue and black lines like

"Cristina and __(friend's name)____ are friends now"
"__(friend's name)____ has tagged you on a photo"
"__(friend's name)____ posted on your wall"
"__(friend's name)____ joined the group ________"

become all that you see in your screen. Then, sometimes you move on to browsing through friend's photos, which in turn lead to someone else's album, and then someone else's....and sometimes you find out "hey! i didn't know ___ and ___ knew each other!" , or u stumble upon some1's profile whom u didnt know had a facebook account. Though at this point in time, it shouldn't be surprising that everyone has a fb, like a compulsary second ID for Uni.

And facebook becomes, sadly, a virtual socialising arena for all those procrastinating students like me.

I didn't even want to join fb. I thought it was too much hassle to set up another Friendster account. But Ray got me into it. Arh Ray, always the source of my mishaps. And he's comin to Madrid for X'mas with me. For a week+. In my house. Shit.. what else is he gonna make me do?

If only I could be as enthusiastic writing my reports as I am writing "literature" on my blog and MSN, I would top the class so high that they would have to invent another grade just for me. Like a 1st CK-Class, not just 1st Class.

O crap, I'm trying to b funny again.

So the reason I'm back writing on my blog, is because I deleted Facebook from my Bookmarks tab and decided to stop fb-ing for as long as I can. Maybe till 1 hr later.

Taking the bookmark away should cease me from clicking it every 10 minutes. Instead, I will have to type in the full address

"www dot facebook dot com" or "facebook +Ctrl +Enter"

in order to access my account. And being as lazy as I am, this will surely repel my fb cravings, which I have to underline again, it does not purely depend on fb itself and its numerous facets, but more on my procrastination genes. If that makes it sound more convincing.

That's it, I should really start typing my transport report.... maybe after posting this on facebook...

2006-12-10T02:35:00.000Z

*YAwnnnns*

its 2.40, and i should be sleeping. But I'm craving for time to relax and do nothing... which in turn cuts into my sleeping time..n i dont seem to care. at least for now.

Ray's draggin me into doing rly random things.. cos he's also doing rly nonsensical stuff lately..

Maybe it's the stress, breathing in too much dust from books..

" cRis kUo || I jus realised I had the WRONG no. on my nick. IT's This one>>+4477 new UK no.pls check. Sorry! says:

its like eatin choc cake

cRis kUo || I jus realised I had the WRONG no. on my nick. IT's This one>>+44779new UK no.pls check. Sorry! says:

its bad but u eat it anyway

cRis kUo || I jus realised I had the WRONG no. on my nick. IT's This one>>+4477 new UK no.pls check. Sorry! says:

hahaha

—— RÆ —— says:

yea exactly. haha "

blah.

I can't wait for this comin week to come to an end. Gotta work reallll hard to finish the bloody transport coursework and the dissertation presentation. But on Fri I am so gonna party till I'm gone. Totally gone.

And on Sunday I'm goin homeeeeeeee to Madrid=)

YeAaaa~~

Just a lil more, just a lil more...

Miss Heryanti??

2006-12-07T00:22:00.000Z

Yeah it's me!! wahh What a surprise!!! How're you??
how did you find my blog!?

wow..

could u email me ur email -lol-? xpexial_u@yahoo.com
I had thought of e-mailing u long ago but lost ur add!

hmmm Heryanti.. are u stalking me too?

____________________________

Miss Heryanti was my Sec Sch English, Lit, & awesome Form teacher.
She taught us English, and hence the existence of this blog.

Now I feel v self-conscious about my grammar...
oh no..